Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Mal and Belle: Desperate Housewife Syndrome

This is my 50th post. I was going to make something special to commemorate it, but it’s taking too long, and a late post is no way to celebrate an anniversary. So, it’s back to Mal and Belle.

Belle walks to the shower to cleanse herself of the smell of Mal.

Belle wakes up late that evening, and is greeted by the fumes of rotting salad.

Only two days in the house, and Mal’s repugnance has already taken hold of the house. In the bathroom, the shower and toilet are filthy and the floor is soaking wet.

Belle cleans the toilet and thinks of her broken dreams.

The nasty atmosphere takes its toll on poor Belle. Mal doesn’t notice a thing, and Belle is too nice to bring it up.

This is actually an appealing picture to look at. Mal's color scheme of grays works well with the foreground, as does Belle's yellows in the background. I love how it all works out...

Mal goes off to bed, while Belle whips up something to eat: waffles.

What the heck... Are those frozen waffles? Because just a few seconds ago you were making batter.

I notice that Belle is very carefully checking on these waffles. Sensing a potentially humorous situation coming, I start taking snapshots of what happens.

If there's a smoke DETECTOR over the stove, why doesn't it go off when SMOKE BILLOWS OUT OF THE OVEN? How is a smoke detector supposed to distinguish between harmless smoke and out-of-control fires? Maybe it only detects burning paint.

That was perfect. And all without cheats!

So after that quintessentially comedic scene, Belle’s upset that her food is even worse than the salad. But guess what she does anyway?

Belle has a few wishes by this point. The astute reader can already guess what two of them are.

Pizza delivery! Well, no, but that's close.

The first wish is to hire a maid. Sure, they don’t have a lot of money right now, but Belle’s not going to let a simple obstacle like that get in the way of a clean house, right?

The second wish is to clean up the bathroom. As Belle gets out the mop, she flashes a disturbing expression at the mirror.

 And she would become known as 'The Squeegee Witch'.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Pet Tamers, Episode 11

I should stop saying “The payoff is coming! The payoff is coming!” First, this story does not seem headed towards the payoff I promised; second, this story has a way of changing itself…

PET TAMERS

Episode 11: Ice Cream Sundaes

EXT. of an OUTHOUSE. The sky is a torpid gray stew of wind howling through the snake-like grass. Two figures, clothed in the darkness of the night, approach the rusty, beaten door of the outhouse. The taller one knocks loudly.

CLOSE-UP of the OUTHOUSE DOOR. A slit opens up. Lightning briefly reveals the two eyes staring out.

DOORMAN: This seat is occupied.

TALL FIGURE: And we will follow.

The slit closes again, and the door opens. The two figures walk in.

INSIDE. It is dark; only the dim grayness of the night seeps through the cracks in the walls. A motor starts up, and a black mass moves downward.

DOORMAN: You’re a day late.

SHORT FIGURE: We would have come here sooner, if Benkley hadn’t lost our luggage.

The lights turn on. The DOORMAN operates an elevator as the CEO and BENKLEY address each other.

BENKLEY: I did not lose the luggage, sir. It was likely misplaced by the airport.

CEO: Don’t try your blame game! You’re my valet, you should have foreseen that and prevented it!

BENKLEY: It was a grave error on my part, sir. I gladly take responsibility. I can replace everything, sir.

CEO: You can’t replace money, Benkley! People take it! And people like us have to either take it back, or find someone else to take it from!

BENKLEY: If I may supply my own opinions, sir, I only take what you give me.

CEO: And that’s why you’re not a CEO.

The elevator comes to a stop.

OUTSIDE the elevator, a man is waiting for the two comrades.

MAN: Greetings to you, Mr. Julius Swaggert. How was your trip?

CEO: You must be Il Rubino.

RUBINO: The one and same. I am glad to see that you two are safe, especially after… your tragic loss.

CEO: I’m not here to discuss past business, don. Tell me about this deal of yours.

RUBINO (turning aside): And this must be Benkley. How do you do, sir?

BENKLEY: Quite well, sir.

RUBINO: Curt little worm. Careful with him; a servant like him gets stale early.

CEO: I am an important businessman, don, and I have investments to monitor back home. Tell us what this business of yours is, so that we can be on our way.

RUBINO: Maurice!

Young, cleanly-dressed man rushes up.

MAURICE: Yes, sir?

RUBINO: Show these two to our guest quarters. Have we heard from our three absentee guests?

MAURICE: Yes, sir. One has a date, another has a bad case of conjunctivitis, and the other had an unexpected delivery of fresh salmon to her company’s doorstep.

RUBINO: The ungratefulness. Come, I’ll deal with those three privately. Start the preparations, Maurice, we’re havin’ the meeting after dinner.

MAURICE: And the children?

RUBINO: Yes, feed them, too. You know what I said about them.

BENKLEY: Children?

RUBINO: Maurice, please show the two to their rooms, while I don my evening wear.

MAURICE: Come right this way, gentlemen.

MEANWHILE, in a STONE BASEMENT (note: tell the art department to stop making their stone basements look like dungeons), MAGGIE, SHANA, and PETE lay shackled to the wall.

PETE: I’m scared.

MAGGIE: Don’t worry.

PETE: Without my Gameberry, I feel alone.

MAGGIE: We’ll get out of this.

PETE: All my saved games were on it! What if it’s gone forever? All that work for nothing…

MAGGIE: Suppose Jason and Chris are coming to save us.

SHANA: After that fight we saw, I think it is more likely Jason is coming alone.

MAGGIE: Come on. Chris wouldn’t just abandon us. Would he?

The DOOR above creaks opens.

MAGGIE (whispering): Remember, say nothing. Tell them nothing about the whistles.

MAURICE appears in the doorway, though the kids do not know his name.

MAURICE (tossing some vegetables at the kids): Here, dinner.

MAURICE leaves. The door above shuts loudly.

PETE: They’re not too interested in us, are they?

MAGGIE: Well, let’s hope it stays that way.

PETE: I just want my Gameberry back.

CLOSE-UP of a WINE GLASS. A fork clangs against the rim.

RUBINO: Gentlemen! Ladies! Your attention!

THE DINNER PARTY. Most of the guests ignore Rubino, too busy drinking, eating, and conversing amongst themselves to notice him.

RUBINO (howling): YOUR ATTENTION!!

The guests quiet themselves and turn to Rubino.

RUBINO: My friends. My soon-to-be friends. Thank you all for attending. It is a privilege and an honor to have such esteemed guests in my halls.

Rubino gestures to a well-built man with red hair.

RUBINO: First, I would like to thank Mr. Casa here for the construction of this hideout. He has exceeded my expectations, and I have high hopes for this place. Everyone, Mr. Edward Casa.

Mr. EDWARD CASA stands courteously and nods politely while the guests politely applaud.

RUBINO: Remember, gentlemen, this home is not only my home, but yours. If at any time you need some place to settle or hide, please feel free at any time to drop by. My two colleagues will see to your satisfaction.

THE STONE BASEMENT.

RUBINO (muffled, distant): Now then, for the main order of business…

MAGGIE (whispering): Is there a party upstairs?

PETE: Shh!

RUBINO: …has acquired some very interesting pieces. Ms. Van Dell, would you care to present your wares?

A HAND slaps down on the dinner table.

MS. AVA VAN DELL, a wiry woman with streaks in her curled red hair, stands at attention, her hand firm against the table.

MS. VAN DELL: Certainly. Paris!

PARIS, an even thinner woman with jet-black hair, rises from her seat and hands MS. VAN DELL a device that looks vaguely like a radar gun. Ms. Van Dell firmly raises it above the table and, with a flourish, flicks the switch on the gun’s side. A holographic display spews outward, bathing the dinner party in bluish light.

MS. VAN DELL (firmly): See this, everyone?

The hologram is displaying some news footage – specifically, the same news footage that was seen in episode 3.

MS. VAN DELL: THIS is the news footage of the monster that destroyed Swaggert Tower.

MR. SWAGGERT puts his hand to his face and turns away from the hologram.

MS. VAN DELL (con’t): Footage that was made immediately after the attack, and mysteriously disappeared from the news studio just minutes from being aired.

Ms. Van Dell turns to Rubino.

MS. VAN DELL: Our host, Mr. Rubino, took their videotape of the intended broadcast, keeping it as a personal trinket. I do hope he does not mind if I share my OWN copy with you all.

Rubino maintains a dignified air.

MS. VAN DELL: The disappearance of the phyiscal media was, of course, all Mr. Rubino’s, but the virtual media’s disappearance was all my doing. I am the only person in the world with a copy of this – monster!

Rubino, still dignified, bears but the slightest mark of impatience.

MS. VAN DELL: Gentlemen! This monster is a threat to us all! If it could destroy a skyscraper, what else could it do? Destroy a city? Surely an army can take it down, you say. Gentlemen…

(MS. VAN DELL pushes a button on her gun)

MS. VAN DELL (con’t): … he’s already taken down an army!

The hologram now displays surveillance footage of a parking lot. The dinosaur’s foot kicks several gangsters. Other gangsters run away, but a panther leaps from offscreen onto them.

MS. VAN DELL: Three days after the first attack, the monster was seen attacking in the parking lot of a local office. Taken straight from the surveillance cameras, not even Rubino has this footage.

Rubino’s dignified stance is increasingly degrading into irritation.

MS. VAN DELL: First, notice that the dinosaur is not the only monster at the scene. You can see the vicious wild cat plainly enough. But right HERE…

Ms. Van Dell pauses the video and zooms in towards a blurry figure, who despite being unrecognizable, is clearly directing the panther with his hands.

MS. VAN DELL: Somebody is LEADING these monsters.

CUT to a distant shot of the outhouse. Rain and wind pour down against the earth.

MS. VAN DELL (V.O.): Someone is behind this. Someone has a great power in their hands, leading us down a winding path, waiting for the right time to pull the rug out from underneath us.

A car pulls up. Chee lands on the hood. A car door opens and slams shut.

JASON: This is it. We’re here.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Monday, October 5, 2009

Pet Tamers, Episode 10

I find myself at a quandary sometimes; should I stick to fictional conventions, or realistic conventions? Should I attempt to make an awesome and original story, or continue my premise of parodying kids’ shows while mixing in my own brand of originality? Actually, I think I just answered that question.

PET TAMERS

EPISODE 10: Reparative Reparations

EXT. THE SCIENTIST’S WAREHOUSE. JASON drives up to the warehouse, CHRIS rides in the front, and CHELSEA rides in the back, with all five of the pets also seated in the back.

Jason gets out of the car and picks up Pete’s hamster BALDWIN, and takes the leash of his dog.

CHELSEA: You’re taking them in with you?

JASON: Eno will know what to do with them.

Chelsea looks skeptically at Jason.

JASON: Bring along the other two.

Jason turns towards the building. Chelsea turns and picks up Maggie’s cat LUCY and Shana’s bird CHEE. Chelsea looks at Chris’s lizard, then up at Chris, who sits sullenly in his seat.

CHELSEA: Can you get the lizard?

Chris silently gets out of his seat and picks up the lizard as Chelsea follows Jason.

CHELSEA: So, what’s your crazy plan, exactly?

JASON: Eno gave us these whistles, and these pets. If Maggie, Shana, and Pete still have their whistles with them, I’m sure he can help us track them down.

Jason opens up the warehouse door.

INSIDE THE WAREHOUSE, the door opens and echoes its squeak across the dark, empty interior. The only light comes from the open door.

JASON: Hello?

Chelsea flicks on a light switch before this cliche goes on any further.

Unfortunately, some cliches just won’t die, as sprawled across the empty floor, the old scientist Eno lies gasping for air.

JASON: Eno!

Jason rushes to Eno’s side. Soft, sad music starts playing. Chelsea and Chris enter skeptically, though we can’t tell because they’re out of focus.

JASON: Eno, what happened? Your lab!

ENO: Ohhh… my time is coming, Jason… I won’t have much longer.

CHRIS (whispering to CHELSEA): You wanna go someplace while these two finish?

CHELSEA (whispering): No way.

JASON: Eno, you can’t go! You need your help! Three of us have been kidnapped by a gang of criminals!

ENO: Uhh… you’ll pull through, Jason. You’ll find a way, like you always do.

JASON: But you’re the only one who can help us! Tell me, you made these whistles, right? Is there some sort of… tracker device you have, a detection system, something to locate them?

ENO: No… of course not… I didn’t… it’s too late for that…

JASON: What about the pets? Can they do anything, like tell where their masters are and such?

ENO: I… I only developed the whistles… nothing else…

CHRIS (muttering): What a waste of time…

ENO: But… there is something… I know… a pet… always knows where to find… the person who… loves it… the most……

The sad music swells to a climax.

JASON: Eno? Eno!

CHRIS: Oh, Jason? Should we call the paramedics, or is too late for that?

JASON: Eno! Nooooo, Enoooooo!

Chris yawns. Chelsea blinks.

JASON: (incomprehensible sobbing)

CHRIS: So, wait, why is his lab empty again? Why were the lights turned off? How is the timing so convenient?

JASON (springing up, not the slightest bit sad): Chris, what did he mean? That pets can find the people who love them the most?

CHRIS: In my opinion, I think it means his brain shut down and he went delirious.

JASON: What if… what if we used Maggie’s, or Shana’s, or Pete’s pets to find where they are? What if they know where they are?

CHRIS: Pets don’t have a sixth sense. Come on, I thought this was an educational show!

JASON: Don’t be silly, you crazy Chris. This isn’t a show.

CHRIS: Don’t play dumb, Jason, I’m pretty sure, since the last episode, this is a show.

JASON (darkly): Would you rather it wasn’t a show, Chris?

CHRIS: Um… well, no, nevermind.

JASON: Let’s see… Baldwin won’t do, because Pete treated him so poorly… Lucy’s better, but she ran away from Maggie, so… what about Chee? Didn’t Shana say she loved birds?

CHRIS: Well, you know me. I’m crazy Chris, I can barely remember anything.

JASON: I bet it will work. It has to work! It’s the only thing we’ve got left.

CHELSEA: What are we doing, again?

JASON: We’re going to let Chee tell us where Shana and the rest of them are.

CHELSEA: Oh. Really?

CUT to a country road, acres of farmland on either side. CHEE flies overhead, while JASON drives after it. CHELSEA sits in the front seat, while CHRIS and the other pets sit in the back.

CHELSEA: What do we do if Chee gets tired?

JASON: She won’t. She’ll pull through.

Chris starts to say something, but decides against it.

CHELSEA: I should’ve told my parents I’d be gone for some time.

JASON: Oh, don’t worry about your parents. They don’t need to know about this.

Chelsea gives Chris an apprehensive look, but Chris is too busy thinking to notice her.

CUT to another section of road. MILES and RUSS, still wearing their airport maintenance uniforms, are standing on the side, trying to catch a ride. Their jetpack lies nearby.

RUSS (shouting): Somebody?

MILES: It’s no use. We’re only a few miles from the city. A trooper’s going to come along any moment, recognize us, and throw us back in the slammer, or worse.

RUSS: Well, maybe we didn’t fill up as much as we should have, maybe the jetpack has a bad gas mileage.

MILES: I say, we should just cut through these cornfields. We need to get away as fast as possible, and off the roads as much as possible.

RUSS: The police will alert every town in the area and let us know we’re on the loose. And we don’t have any supplies for a cross-country run, no food or water. We’re better off trying to hitchhike.

MILES: Who the heck would pick up hitchhikers these days?

A familiar-looking car pulls up alongside them.

JASON: Do you two need a ride somewhere?

RUSS: Oh, why, yes. If you could afford the time to help two strangers.

JASON: Sure, get in.

CHELSEA: What?

CHRIS (near simultaneously): What?

JASON: Could you make some room, Chris?

Chris reluctantly pulls all the animals onto his side and his lap as Miles and Russ enter the car with the jetpack.

CHRIS (awkwardly): Uh, nice backpack.

Jason starts up the car and drives off.

RUSS: Okay, son, if you could drop us off, like, 20 miles east of here, just north of Scramblersville, there should be a little red house…

JASON (breaking in): Sorry, we’re not headed that way. We’re going north.

RUSS: What?

JASON (pointing up): After that bird.

Miles and Russ exchange looks.

MILES (whispering): We jumped in a loony car.

RUSS (whispering): It’s better than a trooper, though.

CHRIS: Trooper?

RUSS: Nothing, kid. Just go where you want, driver, we’re fine with it.

MILES: Are we?

RUSS (whispering): It doesn’t matter where we’re headed, as long as we’re headed away from the city. We’ll wait until they stop, then figure out what to do from there. Okay?

MILES (whispering): Well, okay.

CHELSEA (whispering to JASON): Is it legal to pick up hitchhikers around here?

JASON (out loud): Why not? I don’t feel the slightest bit bad about it.

CHELSEA (over JASON): Sh! Shh! Okay, okay! It’s fine! Sorry I asked.

The five drive off into the distance, where yet another episode looms before them…

Friday, October 2, 2009

Wolfrun, Third Try – Week 29

Well, it worked brilliantly. All through the night, while I slept peacefully, Go Wolfrun stood in his door-less, window-less, TV-less, bed-less, sofa-less, lamp-less house for 169 days. That’s 169 Sim years. When I woke up and checked the date, I was stunned. In the game, Sims live for only 90 years, which meant that not only would all the Sims from week 5 be dead, but the unborn embryo Sims would also be dead, as would their children; their grandchildren, however, could possibly be alive. But 169 years! If Go stepped outside of his time capsule house, it would be an entirely different world from what he knew.

I had to go to class, so I couldn’t check the neighborhood. But I wondered how different everything would be. I wondered how I’d find anyone; if 4 people out of 96 Sims had disappeared after 2 weeks, then after 27 weeks, only half of the Sims from before would be there.

Of course, my math had a few holes in it, but it didn’t matter. As it turns out, I was both right and wrong. It was an entirely different world. But that didn’t mean everyone I knew was gone.

_tamaraelder

There were a few new names to the neighborhood, like the Dunns and the Austins, but I was surprised that several Sims were still alive. Blair Sw0rd was still alive and pregnant, but her husband Cycl0n3 was not. He wasn’t even in the family tree. Tamara was still alive, except her last name was Hart now, and she was also pregnant. And, like Blair, she had “0 days to Elder”.

Note the belly. Note the life bar.

Everywhere I went through town, this same pattern was emerging. Iliana Langerak (now Iliana Austin) was alive, pregnant, and almost an elder. Morgana Wolff was alive, pregnant, and almost an elder. Holly Alto (now Holly Bachelor) was alive, pregnant, and almost an elder. Bella Bachelor (now Bella Hamlin-Bachelor) was alive, pregnant, and almost an elder. Monika Morris (now Monika Langerak) was alive, pregnant, and almost an elder. Imelda Alto was alive, pregnant, and almost an elder.

L to R: Holly Bachelor, Bella Hamlin-Bachelor, Tamara Hart, Blair Sw0rd, Imelda Alto; Adrianna Austin, Pauline Langerak, Sherri Wolff, Monika Langerak, Morgana Wolff; Hayley Bunn, Nancy Lillard, Faye Bachelor, Tawnya Crook, Betty Stringer.

In fact, everywhere I looked there were single pregnant women. At a few odd houses (none of the ones above), there’d be an old man married to the pregnant wife who was one day from becoming an elder. There was one odd case were the husband was at the end of his life, but he never died. So he and his wife lived happily ever after, forever and after.

The most chilling thing, however, is that nowhere in the entire neighborhood were there any children, nor babies, nor even teenagers. It’s like a Twilight Zone episode, where all the women suck up the youth from their unborn babies and remain young forever while the men become dried-out husks and die until the entire town consists entirely of pregnant women. Actually, that’s not a bad premise, but it’s just creepy here. This is seriously not supposed to happen; either the women just shouldn’t get pregnant when they’re so close to elderhood, or they should just give birth to their children and then move on.

I suspect this is a bug with either the Indie Stone Mod or the Awesome Mod, but the two developers are working closely with each other, so I can just tell one of them about it and wait until one of them updates their version. Although the Awesome Mod developer updates it every day, so I probably won’t have to wait long.

Wolfrun, Second Try – Week 5

Revisiting the Wolfrun home, I decided the first thing to do was replace Go’s broken TV with the best TV so that it wouldn’t break down. I sold off the TV, and began selling off everything I needed to get the $8000 needed.

_Wolfrun_home1

Which was basically everything. All he had was his sofa and his shiny new TV. So I sat him in front of the sofa, turned on his TV, and sat back for a few glorious moments as the game ran on ultra, and Go Wolfrun contentedly watched his TV for days on end.

_repoman

Then, suddenly, the game went to normal speed when some guy with a laser gun and a baseball cap showed up, complaining about how the bills weren’t being paid, and he stole poor Wolfrun’s sofa.

_Wolfrun_home2

At first, I just ignored him and went back to ultra speed while Wolfrun stood up and watched his TV (he still had his Comfy moodlet, so I don’t think he really minded), but the Repo Man kept coming back, even though he didn’t take anything, not even the expensive hi-definition TV. But every time he showed up, the game kept resetting to normal speed, and after this happened a few times, I realized, “What a minute, he’s coming because the TV is using up electricity.” The reason I was sitting him in front of a TV in the first place was because that was exactly what the developer of the Indie Stone Mod suggested doing on a wolfrun, but I decided to bugger all and just take everything away. No TV, no door, no windows, no sofas. Just an empty room to stand in.

When week 5, day 2 came around, I paused the game again and took a look around town, to see how the Sims had changed.

All five Roomies: Cycl0n3, Silas, Emma, Tamara, and Blair.

Just to remind everyone, this is 29 days since I started; in-universe, it’s been 29 years. The original Sims game takes place 25 years after the start of Sims 3, so this is about the same time period as that.

First, I revisited the Roomies. Tamara was expecting her first child with Xander, who was already an elder. Cycl0n3 and Blair had moved out and married (Blair becoming Blair Sw0rd), and were also expecting. That left the other two, Silas and Emma, alone to hook up with each other.

I looked around, and saw many other romances blooming. Holly Alto, was now going out with Michael Bachelor. Mortimer Goth was going out with Bella Bachelor, sounds suspiciously pre-programmed to me. Contrary to canon, however, Mortimer was in a criminal as opposed to a scientist. Jared Frio and Claire Ursine were now married, and his brother Connor was married to Monika Morris, who was also pregnant.

Morgana and their newest son Brandon.

There were also some less happy stories. The Wolffs, for example, have had another child named Brandon, and when I caught up with them, Morgana was in a very depressed state. Checking their relationships, it seems Thorton Wolff barely had any relationship with his two children at all. Their daughter from 2 weeks ago was now a child, and had gained the kleptomaniac trait. This was clearly an interesting development, and I wondered how they would turn out in the future.

Leighton Sekemoto, thinking about the transience of life.

There were also some Sims whose loved ones had just died recently. Yumi Sekemoto, who I didn’t really pay attention to last time, had just died, and his son Leighton was very depressed. Cornelia Goth had died recently, and Gunther Goth was still in a bad mood over it. Actually, his life bar was pretty full already, so he probably wouldn’t be sad for very long. Incidentally, now that he was no longer married, Agnes Crumplebottom had a crush on him. Too bad she was going to be disappointed soon.

Iris and Imelda Alto, now a child and teen.

Jarrod, the evil genius baby, now had the loser trait, and his artsy outdoorsy brother Weston now had the snob trait. Sort of the total opposite of what I expected from their infant traits. The Altos above were doing pretty well for themselves, though Gobias Koffi was now an elder and still hadn’t any romances, male or female.

So, finally, I went back to Go Wolfrun, changed to ultra speed, and left the game overnight, hoping that without any more TV, there would be no more interruptions to the game speed, and I’d get a lot farther than ever before

Leaving Sims 3 On Overnight

In its preview of the Sims 3 back on March 10th, IGN touted that the game’s free will system was quite intelligent, and that “[y]ou could leave the game running overnight and wake up to an entirely different situation”. Naturally, when I got it, I wanted to test that statement and see what would happen if I left the game for an extended period of time.

Now, I’ve read comments from fans saying, “Why would you do this? Wouldn’t it be more fun to play the game yourself than to let the computer play it for you?” I say, ludicrous. You can have more than one save slot on the Sims 3, and why not spend it on something that’s just as pointless as raising completely fictitious and unrealistic people?

So, bold and fearless, I started a new game in Sunset Valley. I decided upon the Roomies household to be the active household, because I figured five diversely different adults would be interesting subjects for the experiment.

From left to right: Cycl0n3, Stiles, Emma, Tamara, Blair, before time leap.

I just loaded them up, pressed 3 for “ultra speed”, and went to bed. I was dimly aware that pressing 3 would be pointless, as the game would automatically reset to normal speed whenever the carpool came, but I decided, meh, I just want to see what happens.

What happened was: I woke up 8 hours later and came back to find that Tamara had received an opportunity on work, and the game had been waiting patiently for a response. In-game, it was week 1, day 2, the day right after I left it.

Disappointment was an understatement. I began looking up for info on turning off opportunities, but EA had the daftness to not include an option to turn them off. The only way to not get opportunities is to install a mod called the Indie Stone Story Progression Mod and do a “wolfing run” with it. Of course, in order for the ISSPM to work with the latest patched version of Sims 3, you also had to install the Awesomemod from another website and delete the ISSPM core mod package, etc etc. I studiously followed the instructions, made a single man with the last name “Wolfrun”, put him in his own house, added a TV, told him to watch TV, set the game at “ultra speed”, and went off to class.

Mr. Wolfrun, thinking about his life's mission.

I came back 4 and a half hours later to find it was now week 3, day 2. That was better, but I was expecting a lot more. Inspecting the house, I found that his television had broken down, and that Go Wolfrun had spent most of his time either reading from the bookcase or sleeping. The game resets its speed to 1 whenever somebody wakes up from sleeping, but since Go’s needs never dropped, I can only imagine he went to bed as a way of mocking me.

Still, I decided to check out the neighborhood and see how things had changed. At the Roomies household, Tamara was gone from the group; she had gone off to marry Xander Clavell. Hard to imagine why, seeing as how he had commitment issues. His bio itself explicitly states he wasn’t planning on getting married, but I guess Tamara was just a manipulative bitch.

I also looked around to see what else happened. Holly Alto got her own place, and the two adult Altos had two children, Imelda and Iris. The Landgraabs also had two children, Jarred and Weston. I’m especially interested in Jarred because his two traits were “evil” and “genius”, and you know putting those two words together is always a good thing. Thorton and Morgana Wolff, even though their bios say that children is the last thing they’d plan on doing with their marriage, had a baby girl named Krissy.

Imelda, Iris, and Vita Alto. Imelda is insane, by the way.

There was also Claire Ursine, who was both raising her daughter Terra and going out with Connor Frio. Jared Frio, meanwhile, was going out with Monika Morris, who I assume is one of the Working Friends Household.

Terra and her uncle Connor

There were other Sims who’d moved in from nowhere; a couple, German and Faye Rhinehart; the Lain family, consisting of two musically-inclined parents, their equally gifted daughter, their more brutish son and daughter; and the Gutierrez family, who I didn’t really bother looking at. There were also some Sims who weren’t living anywhere, like Zelda Mae and Parker Langerak, and Ethan and Lisa Bunch. I tried calling Zelda Mae over and then saying goodbye to her so I could see where she was staying, but she went over to Jamie Jolina’s house and disappeared, even though Jamie lived alone.

Jack, Darlene, Ethan, and Judy Bunch.

So, having inspected Sunset Valley, I went back to Go Wolfrun’s home, and continued the speed run