Productivity or No?

I’m writing this blog post to describe a difference in experience.

Earlier today I was the timer for a Scholastic Bowl tournament. Feeling creative, I started writing a story in the margins of the score sheet. I had no intention of saving this story; I merely wanted to pass the time, and I could always make another story.

A few of my distant friends who were also timers or moderators enjoyed the story I wrote over 4 sheets. But there was something fundamentally different about this experience than the other times when I was a timer and didn’t write a story. Even though I was more productive in the short term, and just as unproductive in the long term, I am much more unhappy than I would have been if I hadn’t written that story.

Is it the dissatisfaction of leaving the story behind? I left the story open-ended to ease the transition between rounds, and I already have ideas for where the characters could go next. Would it have been better if I had not created any characters, and not created any story, and therefore would not be distressed about what would happen next, and spend the rest of my life wondering what could have been?

Indeed, I live with many regrets of past projects. Most of them were formed when I was young, and I can assure myself that those projects were immature and silly. But as I grow older, I have better ideas that crowd up my mind. And I have to choose a few to keep, and the rest to let go. If only I had a friend who could tell me which ones were worth saving!

Updates

Major lack of optimism this week. I just haven’t been as productive as I should, I get anxiety over that, less productivity, more anxiety, et cetera et cetera ad infinitum. Then one day, some awesome piece of news comes out, some online game gets release, or someone finally releases an anticipated sequel. Then I get energized, and back on track.

So, while no one was watching this blog, I updated my Windows Live Writer version. It’s spiffier, although a bit too shiny. I wonder how shinier future software will appear. Maybe they’ll produce metallic monitors, so we can actually see the shine.

Also, I started another project. I’ve always had a love for the classic songs; the songs from the 50’s, 60’s, 80’s, and 90’s (the 70’s, not so much). So I started taking all the songs that have been number one on the Billboard Top 100 list, and arranging them into consecutively into a medley, 2 seconds for every week on top. Right now I’ve gone from August 1958, the start of the list, to April 1962; the medley is over 6 minutes long. It’s a fun listen; I shall upload it sometime to either the crazy “Windows SkyDrive” that replaced my private sharing folders, or to YouTube, where it will surely surprise all my anime-loving subscribers. If anyone asks about copyright, I will claim fair use. After all, the longest (so far) a song has been in the #1 spot is 9 weeks; I hear a song in 2005 lasted 16 weeks. I don’t know if I’ll get that far, but YouTube does a pretty good job of putting up all the #1 songs, so I’ll just keep going till I get tired.

Unfairness and Repentance

Yes, I've been taking a long break without posting anything. Yeah, I can do that every once in a while. No, that does not excuse my absence.

So, time to let some weight off my shoulders with some pictures!

First, here's something I noticed on Google Trends: people ask "why" a lot during the school year.

Second, here's a practice drawing I did of a shoe on Wikipedia, because I needed some practice drawing shoes:

Third, here's a cartoon of a dinner scene. That woman on the left, by the way, is checking out the man on the left:

Fourth (and fifth), here are two quick gimps I did. The first is based off an image taken from a website that had gone offline (I'm sure you're familiar with the type). The second is taken from a recent BBC photo.

Sixth (and seventh and eighth and ninth and tenth), here are some strips I got from a Garfield randomizer that I found pretty humorous:

 

And eleventh (see? eleven days? eleven pictures?), I have this creepy GIF of Gandalf from the original LOTR film:

None of the above would have justified their own post, so aren't you lucky to get all eleven in one post? Of course not. Now I can get rid of those pictures and hopefully resume posting.

Quibbling over the chronologically something

When I was at work and doing my usual half-work-half-thinking routine, I came up with a good term for children: "chronologically disadvantaged". Because kids do not have quite as much experience as full-grown adults, they are clearly the most disadvantaged persons in the human aging spectrum.

So imagine how surprised and irked I was to type that phrase into Google and discover people don't use it for children; they use it for the exact opposite, the elderly. Apparently, people think that getting older is a bad thing, one that must be avoided at all costs. (Good luck on that.)

Furthermore, the phrase "chronologically advantaged" is also applied towards the elderly, albeit in a more positive manner. Frantically, I tried searching for "chronologically advantageable", but that returned no entries. Shall I be the first to use it as a synonym for youthful, or is someone going to take that one away from me as well?

Calling out the blogger

Let me just say, right now, that it has been exciting ever since Tuesday to have something new to post. But I want to come out right now and say not to be expecting daily posts. This was a rare, unprecedented feat that was amazing for me, but I must step down and say will not happen again.

Which is not to say it won't happen again. I just want to reprimand myself, right here and now, in front of everyone, so that if I wind up not making this blog a daily routine, then I won't feel bad about disappointing anyone (this is the same delusion as the one where I have an audience of "everyone"). If I do wind up having a daily schedule, then no harm done.

Now, someone out there remind me why the heck I'm blogging this instead of just taping it to my dresser to look at every morning?

Deep, deep thinking

There are times when I have to marvel at the strange, ridiculous mystery of life.

There are 6 billion people on the planet of all different nationalities, statures, and influence. I can't help but feel guilty that I was born in the wealthiest country in the world, in a well-to-do family, in an accepting community with no stringent limits on human rights, with plenty of opportunities to succeed. I wonder, what makes me so lucky? Who was holding my soul in his hand and decided, "This fellow will do nicely in this place"?

Why, of all mysteries, do I have the ability to think and battle my thoughts? Why was I born a human being, when there are a quadrillion other organisms with a speck of life that could have been mine? Why not a penguin, a dog, or a paramecium?

An answer like "God" can't do away with the mystery. There is something wholly remarkable about why I should be here. Or why anyone else should be where they are. Answers like "God knows why" or "He loves us" doesn't dive into the heart of the mystery.

Am I to accept that the universe came to me such a short while ago, and that it will disappear just a short while later? That science does not believe in fundamental forces called "love" and "hope"? That dreams don't have anything to do with the universe, that they are their own separate harbor, and that nothing in the human mind can account for their form or appearance? That the linear train of thought known as "a soul" is not a commanding, directing force at all, but a consequence of electrostatic charges?

Well, but of course I would be too vain in assuming that the universe or the soul comes with a built-in operating manual. And besides, what kind of person would waste their time reading the manual instead of jumping right in?

Put Ends of Alphabet into Tears (5) Cryptic Crosswords

I can't stand cryptic crosswords. They seem to require an arcane vocabulary, elderly knowledge, and a twisted mind.

For example, there's this clue: "Is concerned about small pet (6)". I start off by listing all the synonyms of "concerned" that I can think of: worried, afraid, anxious, nervous, mindful. Then I started listing examples of small pets: turtle, gerbil, kitten. I tried to keep them within 6 letters, because, surely, the answer would be a definition of one of those two things, right?

WRONG! The answer is "caress", which is explained as "cares + S". Apparently "is concerned about" was the "cares" part, and "small" was S. Damn abbreviations. As if I'm thinking about shirt sizes when I solve a puzzle. And "caress" was "pet", even though the clue clearly was using the word as a noun.

Now, where in that clue does it indicate that the answer is supposed to be a verb? My knowledge of English grammar tells me that the object of a prepositional phrase is definitely a noun, not a verb. This is exactly the sort of twisted, illiterate thinking someone would need to solve these puzzles.

Then there's "confuse composer of 'Bolero' (5)". I knew the composer of Bolero was Ravel, but I was cautious at this point. I knew there had to be something involving "confuse". But writing it backwards, scrambling the letters, writing it upside-down, putting a strikethrough through it, and taking letters from "Bolero" and mixing them with "Ravel" did nothing, so I looked at the answer.

The answer was Ravel; Ravel apparently is an English word meaning "to become tangled or confused". But where and when in the world did you ever hear "ravel" being used? In order to solve it, you either have to be a foolish, fearless person who ignores things that don't make sense, or you have an encyclopedic knowledge. No wonder the Britannics enjoy these puzzles.

Then there's "Cereal contains origin of wondrous strength (5)". I'm just confused about where to start with this one. What kind of cereal? Would this be a name-brand cereal like Life or Kix, or a scientific cereal like oats or corn? "Origin" is a sign that I'll need to take the first letter of a word; would that be "wondrous" or "strength"? Liwfe? Csorn? I gave up and looked at the answer.

Brawn. Bran + w. If anyone told me that at a party, I'd clobber them. Are people supposed to take this endless barrage of puns without even twitching?

I'll stick to Paint by Numbers.

About sleep

There's one thing about sleep that bothers me. Unlike eating and dancing, sleeping cannot be done voluntarily. You can feel the urges to eat, dance, or sleep, but eating and dancing are very voluntary, and you get immediate feedback from your body as soon as you do them. But sleeping, you have to lay down, close your eyes, and wait. You can't command your body to sleep. It just wears you down until it makes you sleep.

I don't like when I don't have control over my body, or over its little urges. I ought to be able to have some pressure point in my body or in my mind so that if I focus hard enough, I will immediately drift into slumber. I don't mind not getting control over my dreams, since I don't mind any kind of escape from reality, and I like being surprised. What I don't want is a lack of decision-making on my part on how and when I sleep.

It's also frustrating when I know I'll have to spend my waiting period thinking about useless stuff, because I know I'll forget all of it by the morning. I have to refrain myself from making brilliant jokes or amusing stories, because it will go to waste.

In its current, I feel sleep has no place in our postmodern, postindustrial world, and should be reworked to better fit our current standards. Sleeping should be totally compliant with the party's needs, values, and awareness, and should not in any way hinder with the party's mental capabilities. Instead, sleeping should keep a flexible schedule, able to work itself along sudden appointments and inconveniences and returned to at the party's convenience. Also, sleeping should provide helpful instructions to the party, describing various sleep disorders, how to avoid them, and how to treat them. Customer support should be available at all times for such things as dream interpretations, dream element selections, and nightmare retardation.

With that in mind, I shall be off to bed. Good night.

Stephen Fry Look-alike

Ever since watching QI, I can't help but be distracted by the close similarity between Stephen Fry and my good friend Drew:

 

Stephen is the one on the left, wearing the formal wear, and Drew on the right, wearing the flashy necklaces. See the similarity?

Part Movie Impression, Part Elusive Rambling, Part Break-up of a Blog Delay

Just finished watching the Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Couldn't have come at a better time. I had a fit of mortality despair last night, and watching it helps me feel better.

Sometimes, sappy, pithy sayings are necessary for the soul. They're like old crazy neighbors; when you've never met them, you love listening to their eccentric ideas, but after a while, they begin repeating themselves and you just want them thrown out.

Still, there are other problems I haven't straightened out. Other neighbors I've yet to meet. And I'm still looking. Unless I make my own neighbors.

Questions on My Mind

I think about a lot of things, and I end up asking a lot of questions. Whenever I think of a question, I'll look it up on the Internet, but sometimes I reach a dead end. Here are 10 questions that need answering:

• Can anything besides alcohol cause a hangover?
• Is anyone else afraid of posting in a forum?
• Why is Jesus hiding from us?
• Why can't people keep the spirit of RickRolling without using the exact same song?
• Why do I feel so down after having a good laugh?
• What are those round pill-shaped things on the cords of certain computer adaptors/input devices, just an inch away from the plug?
• If the Chinese don't have an alphabet, how do they organize their dictionaries?
• Why do people use "you" on an Internet forum, when it's possible that the other party is no longer participating?
• Why is law seen as a dishonest profession, when acting is not?
• If ambrosia is the food of the gods, and nectar is the drink of the gods, what is the name of their excrements?