Pet Tamers, Episode 10

I find myself at a quandary sometimes; should I stick to fictional conventions, or realistic conventions? Should I attempt to make an awesome and original story, or continue my premise of parodying kids’ shows while mixing in my own brand of originality? Actually, I think I just answered that question.

PET TAMERS

EPISODE 10: Reparative Reparations

EXT. THE SCIENTIST’S WAREHOUSE. JASON drives up to the warehouse, CHRIS rides in the front, and CHELSEA rides in the back, with all five of the pets also seated in the back.

Jason gets out of the car and picks up Pete’s hamster BALDWIN, and takes the leash of his dog.

CHELSEA: You’re taking them in with you?

JASON: Eno will know what to do with them.

Chelsea looks skeptically at Jason.

JASON: Bring along the other two.

Jason turns towards the building. Chelsea turns and picks up Maggie’s cat LUCY and Shana’s bird CHEE. Chelsea looks at Chris’s lizard, then up at Chris, who sits sullenly in his seat.

CHELSEA: Can you get the lizard?

Chris silently gets out of his seat and picks up the lizard as Chelsea follows Jason.

CHELSEA: So, what’s your crazy plan, exactly?

JASON: Eno gave us these whistles, and these pets. If Maggie, Shana, and Pete still have their whistles with them, I’m sure he can help us track them down.

Jason opens up the warehouse door.

INSIDE THE WAREHOUSE, the door opens and echoes its squeak across the dark, empty interior. The only light comes from the open door.

JASON: Hello?

Chelsea flicks on a light switch before this cliche goes on any further.

Unfortunately, some cliches just won’t die, as sprawled across the empty floor, the old scientist Eno lies gasping for air.

JASON: Eno!

Jason rushes to Eno’s side. Soft, sad music starts playing. Chelsea and Chris enter skeptically, though we can’t tell because they’re out of focus.

JASON: Eno, what happened? Your lab!

ENO: Ohhh… my time is coming, Jason… I won’t have much longer.

CHRIS (whispering to CHELSEA): You wanna go someplace while these two finish?

CHELSEA (whispering): No way.

JASON: Eno, you can’t go! You need your help! Three of us have been kidnapped by a gang of criminals!

ENO: Uhh… you’ll pull through, Jason. You’ll find a way, like you always do.

JASON: But you’re the only one who can help us! Tell me, you made these whistles, right? Is there some sort of… tracker device you have, a detection system, something to locate them?

ENO: No… of course not… I didn’t… it’s too late for that…

JASON: What about the pets? Can they do anything, like tell where their masters are and such?

ENO: I… I only developed the whistles… nothing else…

CHRIS (muttering): What a waste of time…

ENO: But… there is something… I know… a pet… always knows where to find… the person who… loves it… the most……

The sad music swells to a climax.

JASON: Eno? Eno!

CHRIS: Oh, Jason? Should we call the paramedics, or is too late for that?

JASON: Eno! Nooooo, Enoooooo!

Chris yawns. Chelsea blinks.

JASON: (incomprehensible sobbing)

CHRIS: So, wait, why is his lab empty again? Why were the lights turned off? How is the timing so convenient?

JASON (springing up, not the slightest bit sad): Chris, what did he mean? That pets can find the people who love them the most?

CHRIS: In my opinion, I think it means his brain shut down and he went delirious.

JASON: What if… what if we used Maggie’s, or Shana’s, or Pete’s pets to find where they are? What if they know where they are?

CHRIS: Pets don’t have a sixth sense. Come on, I thought this was an educational show!

JASON: Don’t be silly, you crazy Chris. This isn’t a show.

CHRIS: Don’t play dumb, Jason, I’m pretty sure, since the last episode, this is a show.

JASON (darkly): Would you rather it wasn’t a show, Chris?

CHRIS: Um… well, no, nevermind.

JASON: Let’s see… Baldwin won’t do, because Pete treated him so poorly… Lucy’s better, but she ran away from Maggie, so… what about Chee? Didn’t Shana say she loved birds?

CHRIS: Well, you know me. I’m crazy Chris, I can barely remember anything.

JASON: I bet it will work. It has to work! It’s the only thing we’ve got left.

CHELSEA: What are we doing, again?

JASON: We’re going to let Chee tell us where Shana and the rest of them are.

CHELSEA: Oh. Really?

CUT to a country road, acres of farmland on either side. CHEE flies overhead, while JASON drives after it. CHELSEA sits in the front seat, while CHRIS and the other pets sit in the back.

CHELSEA: What do we do if Chee gets tired?

JASON: She won’t. She’ll pull through.

Chris starts to say something, but decides against it.

CHELSEA: I should’ve told my parents I’d be gone for some time.

JASON: Oh, don’t worry about your parents. They don’t need to know about this.

Chelsea gives Chris an apprehensive look, but Chris is too busy thinking to notice her.

CUT to another section of road. MILES and RUSS, still wearing their airport maintenance uniforms, are standing on the side, trying to catch a ride. Their jetpack lies nearby.

RUSS (shouting): Somebody?

MILES: It’s no use. We’re only a few miles from the city. A trooper’s going to come along any moment, recognize us, and throw us back in the slammer, or worse.

RUSS: Well, maybe we didn’t fill up as much as we should have, maybe the jetpack has a bad gas mileage.

MILES: I say, we should just cut through these cornfields. We need to get away as fast as possible, and off the roads as much as possible.

RUSS: The police will alert every town in the area and let us know we’re on the loose. And we don’t have any supplies for a cross-country run, no food or water. We’re better off trying to hitchhike.

MILES: Who the heck would pick up hitchhikers these days?

A familiar-looking car pulls up alongside them.

JASON: Do you two need a ride somewhere?

RUSS: Oh, why, yes. If you could afford the time to help two strangers.

JASON: Sure, get in.

CHELSEA: What?

CHRIS (near simultaneously): What?

JASON: Could you make some room, Chris?

Chris reluctantly pulls all the animals onto his side and his lap as Miles and Russ enter the car with the jetpack.

CHRIS (awkwardly): Uh, nice backpack.

Jason starts up the car and drives off.

RUSS: Okay, son, if you could drop us off, like, 20 miles east of here, just north of Scramblersville, there should be a little red house…

JASON (breaking in): Sorry, we’re not headed that way. We’re going north.

RUSS: What?

JASON (pointing up): After that bird.

Miles and Russ exchange looks.

MILES (whispering): We jumped in a loony car.

RUSS (whispering): It’s better than a trooper, though.

CHRIS: Trooper?

RUSS: Nothing, kid. Just go where you want, driver, we’re fine with it.

MILES: Are we?

RUSS (whispering): It doesn’t matter where we’re headed, as long as we’re headed away from the city. We’ll wait until they stop, then figure out what to do from there. Okay?

MILES (whispering): Well, okay.

CHELSEA (whispering to JASON): Is it legal to pick up hitchhikers around here?

JASON (out loud): Why not? I don’t feel the slightest bit bad about it.

CHELSEA (over JASON): Sh! Shh! Okay, okay! It’s fine! Sorry I asked.

The five drive off into the distance, where yet another episode looms before them…